Five worst celebrity boob jobs (in my opinion)

October 2, 2007

Now that I’ve started paying much more attention to women’s breasts I’m really noticing some bad boob jobs. I’ve already mentioned Posh’s inflatable baloons but she is only one in a large pool of botched implants.
So I’ve decided to compile a list of Bad Boob Jobs, and maybe I’ll print out these pictures and take them to my own surgeon so he’ll know I BETTER not look like this after my surgery!
(Before I begin, I should point out that I’m not just talking about visibly bad boob jobs, like Tori’s cleavage gap or wonky breasts. I also include breast implants that just don’t suit their owner.)

5. Christina Aguilera

Not many (or any) will agree with this, but it’s not because they are botched or wonky, it’s because, in my opinion, they do not suit her tiny frame and make her look ridiculous and tacky. Very few small, petite, cute girls have massive, Jessica Rabbit breasts, lets be honest. And if they do, well OK, that’s the way they are. But deliberately making yourself look out of proportion? I don’t get it. I am currently out of proportion and so that’s what I’m fixing- with my augmentation. But Xtina just always looks wrong to me. Remember the Genie in the Bottle video? She was very small but looked cute. Also, is she still denying she’s had implants? It’s pretty obvious, Christina, give it up. Look at her years ago:


And look at her a few years later:

I think it’s obvious she looks better before-hand. And before I get bored to death from Xtina fan hate-mails, I’m not criticising her for having a boob job– I had one! I’m just saying IN MY OPINION it doesn’t suit her tiny frame.

4. Jordan/Katie Price
Jordan 1
Jordan 2

I kind of like Jordan, especially after watching her documentary thing with Peter Andre, which was shamefully addictive. But regardless, her boobs are just too much. They don’t suit her frame, they look like giant fake heads stuck to her chest. Lots of people would disagree with me on this, I know, because loads of women want this done probably. But I think they’re horrible. She would look so much better with smaller, more natural boobs, and could still be sexy, without the tackiness. Everything she wears just looks like a joke, even nice ball gowns and the like.

3. Janet Jackson

Hmm, I was going to put Tori Spelling in here somewhere, but her and Janet ‘It Just Popped Out’ Jackson seem to have the same, wonky problem. Enough said. I don’t understand why these women wear dresses and tops that show how bad it is. GO AND GET IT FIXED, you’re millionaires (well, Janet is). I’m broke and I would sell my kidneys to the evil Dynasty style woman on Nip/Tuck who’s robbing kidneys for the black market to get a wonky boob job fixed, I can tell you.

2. Victoria Beckham
Posh again!

Sorry to pick on you again, Posh, but really they just DON’T SUIT YOU. Surely someone in your entourage would tell you this? Or even Mr. ‘Goldenballs’ Posh? Or one of the kids? You know young kids, they comment on everything. In fact, I bet my 5 year old godson will immediately point at my chest and snigger after my operation. So I don’t get why Posh thinks these bad boys look great. They just do not.
Of course, as I’ve said before, lots of people like this fake look. I don’t get it myself but each to their own I suppose…And considering VB has made her life into faking herself up (boobs, hair, tan, over the top designer clothes straight from the Runway, no interpretation at all, and lets not forget, the pout..) I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that she likes these.

1. Courtney Love

Just. So. Bad. And Sad.
I was watching the end of this reeeally bad film the other night, with Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend (I really only watched the end because Stuart is too beautiful), called Trapped. (I think). Anyway Courtney’s breasts probably got a mention in the end credits, so prominent and eye catching were they. And not in a good way. They kind of stiffly stick out in each direction, not pointing straight ahead, or even sagging, just stuck out there towards each armpit, looking like giant hills or something.
Plus, she’s had so much surgery it’s obvious the boobs are fake too and paired with her plastic face, they do not look good. I think Courtney has destroyed herself– she was always naturally sexy, with good breasts, appropriately grungy bleached hair, and fuck-you-all attitude. I loved her when I was about 14 and listened to Live Through This on repeat.
But now she just looks a bit sad.

4 Responses to “Five worst celebrity boob jobs (in my opinion)”

  1. […] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptBut regardless, her boobs are just too much. They don’t suit her frame, they look like giant fake heads stuck to her chest. Lots of people would disagree with me on this, I know, because loads of women want this done probably. … […]

  2. Janet’s not that bad. She should of left them alone though, nothing wrong with them in the first place. There was also nothing wrong with her nose either.

    damn those plastic surgeons and their lack of morality..

  3. alex94 said

    Yeah that’s probably not a great pic, I’ve seen ones where they look way more lopsided, but it’s the best sized one I found. I agree though, I don’t know why she got it done. That may sound strange considering I’m getting implants next month, but my personal opinion is that girls with breasts don’t need more. I am one of those girls with NO chest. Though not for much longer. Yay!

  4. Sarah said

    I think Xtina’s boobs got huge because she was pregnant. They usually get huge before the belly…

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