Day Zero

November 22, 2007

Just a quick post to say goodbye….to my old boobs! And to the old ‘me’. Surgery in 13 hours (6am). Getting weirdly sentimental about my body- after all, we’ve been with each other for a long time, through fat and skinny, sickness and health, misery and happiness… I’m taking risks just to have bigger breasts and I’m not regretting my decision, just thinking about it.
I have to start fasting soon (no food, water or chewing gum) and I’m also getting my shit ready for next week and washing my hands religiously with anti-bacterial soap. (The last part isn’t an official instruction from the clinic, I’m just germ-freaky).
Tip to those considering a boob job (and believe me, there will be many more tips to come I’m sure): if you’re really, really sure, and you’ve done your research and you have the money, don’t leave a huge gap between your consultation and your surgery. The wait is a nightmare.
Speaking of nightmares, I’m off home to scrub myself, not eat or smoke and try get some sleep. I shall post back on Saturday. Wish me boobs xx

So I’m in the bank getting a bank draft to send to my surgery clinic, waiting patiently while the bank clerk writes it out for me, when I see she notices it is made out to a cosmetic surgery clinic. “Oooohhhhh!” she says, as if she just discovered her married friend ran away with the local priest. “Are you getting something done?” I stare at her. “ARE YOU GETTING SOMETHING DONE?” Everyone in the bank turns to look at me (it feels like). I mutter something that sounds like a yes and before she asks me what exactly I’m getting done, I take out my iPod and deliberately put the earphones in my ears. As in, stop being so nosy, bitch. Seriously, why do people think they can comment on other people’s private lives?
(I realise I am detailing my private life on this blog but I wouldn’t shout it out to the crowd in my local bank).
I could see her eyeing me up and down trying to figure out what I’m getting done.
It’s not that hard to figure out, in fairness.

Three days to go…I’m off out now to buy sports bras for after the op.

Four days to go…

November 18, 2007

Seriously, I wish it was just tomorrow. I’m starting to unneccesarily freak out about stuff. On a positive note: my ‘flu is fading, I’ve managed to cut down to about two cigarettes a day, and I got a good reaction when I told my family. I was surprised by that, I thought my Dad would either A. mumble and leave the room or B. lecture me on spending 6000 euro on my body. But they were cool about it. I feel so much better knowing I have support. Tip: if you’re planning this and planning not to tell anyone (like I was), think again. I haven’t even had the surgery yet and I know I’m going to need help. Also, people reacted more positively than I thought they would. Well, most people. Obviously there are going to be people who think I’m crazy. But fuck them.

On the bad side, I still haven’t got enough days off work, I have no planning done, and oh yeah, I’m freaking out. I guess it’s because I don’t know what to expect really. How much pain will I be in? What if I get an infection? How big will I be? Will my housemate (and workmates) notice? How long will it take for the scars to fade? I can look up all this stuff and talk to the girls on the forum, but everyone is different so I just have to wait.

OK I need to shut up. This is a waste of a blog post.

I’ll be back again before my surgery. Then I’ll be back every day with DETAILS (And post-op photos).

This time tomorrow and a week I’ll be newly boobed up. Yes, the time is almost upon me. And how am I doing, in this time of change and major surgical procedures?
I’m getting the ‘flu, I’m having trouble getting seven full days off work, my house-mate is changing her weekend plans every other day, I have no preparation done around the house (apparently this is something that is important) and I’m worried I’m going to die/be scarred for life/regret this forever. On top of all that stuff I have to stop smoking and stop taking painkillers or any other drugs. I’m not an addict, OK, but at the moment I need some pharmaceutical interventions to get me through this ‘flu and stress. And I NEED A SMOKE.
Calm, calm, calm is important. Instead of panicking and freaking myself out I must restore energy levels through healthy eating, rest and meditation on why I am doing this.
Yeah RIGHT, that’s going to happen. It’s official, I’m freaked out.
I think I’ll actually just pretend it’s not happening and go on as normal until early Friday morning when I get into a taxi to go to the clinic. That’s a good plan, yes?

Black Friday

November 8, 2007

Hello, cosmetic surgery people! I’m back with an update on my boobular journey. For those who actually care. Which I’m guessing is no one.
Anyway, due to my surgeon being extremely busy, apparently, Saturday the 24th is unavailable, so it’s now Friday the 23rd at 8am. I could have had the Saturday had I not delayed my decision so much. For those who aren’t in Ireland, cosmetic surgery has been having a bad run in the press here the last while, mostly because a woman who was having a weight loss procedure (called gastric banding) died after the operation. Gah. How absolutely awful. It freaked me out for a while, until I realised 1. I’m not having this procedure and 2. I always knew there were risks.
So I decided to continue on my quest for Actual Breasts.
Although, if I die afterwards, let this blog be a testament to my vanity and stupidity. Amen.

Anyway, so Black Friday is November 23rd. I’m still trying to organise all the post-op stuff, like vitamins, easily cooked food, painkillers, the removal of all mirrors from my house. Also I need to buy some oversized button-up tops and drawstring trousers and hats to hide my unwashed, smelly hair.
Christ, I’m going to look like a cross between the homeless cat lady from The Simpsons and a housewife on antidepressants.


October 1, 2007


Is it better to have a scar on my armpit, underneath my breasts, my nipple (Gaaah) or my belly-button??
The armpit and nipple sound the most painful. The belly-button method (known as TUBA) is apparently not that sore, because it’s really just fat and stuff down there- pinch a bit and see if it hurts.
But imagine shaving/waxing your armpits and ripping the scar or something- I’m wincing in pain already. On the plus side, NO ONE would see it if the scar stayed red and noticable. Unless you’re Julia Roberts and you raise your hairy armpits for photo opportunities- although if you were her, and you got implants through your armpit, you wouldn’t have to worry about the pain when you shave…
The crease incision is the one most likely to be seen, especially for me, ‘cos I’m so small and won’t be that huge afterwards.
After the whole stuck-on boobs worry, this is the thing bothering me most pre-op, and my priority question for the surgeon when I go back on October 16. In my first consultation he just said most scars go away…but I need more detail!

UPDATE: Neary four months post-op and my scars are still visible but much better than they were. I’m using a skin oil on them regularly (except when I forget) and they’re not really scars anymore, just slightly raised ridges of skin. They are darker than my skin tone but they will fade to pale eventually. Hopefully by the summer they’ll be much better. I did think afterwards that the under arm incision would’ve been better because of the no scars, but, for some reason the thought of the armpit incision freaks me out, not sure why!

Under or over?

September 25, 2007

Position of implants

I’ve taken this from this article on breast augmentation:

“The placement of breast implants is either sub-glandular or sub-muscular. Sub-muscular can either be partial or complete. With partial sub-muscular placement, the bottom third of the implant is not covered by muscle. With both partial and complete placement bellow the muscle there are usually fewer instances of complications and mammography tests are easier to perform. When implants are placed sub-glandular, insertion is faster and easier, and there is usually a shorter recovery period.

The primary difference between sub-glandular and sub-muscular is the type of look that the breasts have. For sub-glandular, the implants gives a distinct cleavage line which extends up over the top of the breast. For sub-muscular, the cleavage is not as distinct and does not continue up over the top of the breast. The degree to which the placement affects the final result depends upon several factors.”

Basically what this means is, if you get the implants behind (or under) the muscle, you have a longer recovery time, more pain, and less ‘high’ cleavage; but you also reportedly have less rippling or moving around of the implant, a more natural look, and apparently, it is easier for radiologists to detect breast cancer.

Mine are behind my muscle because I was too small to have them put on top.
Rates of capsular contracture are reportedly slightly lower with implants placed behind the muscle, which made me happy. I’d rather have more pain at first with more benefits later on.
But of course it’s different for everyone…and implants placed over the muscle obviously have loads of benefits too…they are softer faster, they drop quicker and your muscle isn’t sliced open…

It starts…

September 20, 2007

First consultation with surgeon next week! Got final loan approval from credit union today. I said it was for a car, then I realised (too late) that the last four CU loans I have applied for have been apparently for “a car”. I don’t even own a car.
I’m hoping to schedule my surgery for Friday November 2nd. For a while I was wondering how I would manage in my house on my own (or worse, while my housemate was there—I do not want her to know!) because my research tells me the first 24-48 hours are pretty horrific, pain and misery-wise. So I think I will check into a nice hotel near the clinic and inform them I am getting surgery, so someone will be like on call if I need it. I might pick the Westbury in Dublin, I’ve always wanted to stay there…I’ll check in before the op, lay out the essentials I’ll need afterwards (Drinks, ice packs, valium, maybe a tape recorder to scream into…) and then head straight there after the procedure. God imagine I met someone I knew…!

Meanwhile, I’ve started my slow and crafty bra-padding so my new boobs won’t be a huge surprise to people. Really, I’m so small-chested that any increase is noticeable on my frame. Anyone who looks at me strangely, I’ll be like “Padded bra!”
I’m also hoping I can play the “I’m a late bloomer” card, a la Britney. Not that ANYONE believed her. But what can people do, besides gossip behind my back, wondering have I had surgery? I’ll just deny it. I’m positive I’m going to do this without anyone knowing. Watch this space…