Guest post…a must-read!

April 23, 2008

HOWDY folks…I’m back, loaded with pics.

OK the pics aren’t uploaded yet but I do have them. I’m guessing many people got sick of waiting and cursed me to the depths of hell and I don’t blame you. Believe me I have my reasons for the delay. Let me say they WILL be posted! I’ve just so much going on. I’m thinking of doing a study on how breast implants affect your whole life in a positive way…because I have never been this confident. 

Anyway, I got a new comment on my ‘Get over it‘ post and I liked so much I decided to post it separately. 

So here you go, courtesy of Beth:

“I know this is an old post, but I’ve got something to say, so I’m saying it…My sister recently got breast enhancement surgery, and she’s still swollen and so afraid that she’s going to look like Pamela Anderson for the rest of her life. ) 

I was looking for a website or blog that she could read to help her through the emotions of the first few weeks. I think, Alex, that I may have found it, and I commend you for daring to be the voice of these girls, and take the criticism that people just seem to need to load upon others in their quest for perfection.

For unamed “What’s wrong with Natural”… well, nothing is wrong with natural, everyone knows that. But the question for you is, what’s wrong with not natural? Would you condemn a person who lost a limb to life without prosthetics? I know you’re now thinking that a limb is necessary, and breasts, not so.

Well, I challenge you on that. There have been an increasing number of news stories about people with extreme forms of handicap who get by just fine (like that famous woman with no arms who had a baby and takes care of her herself, crazy to watch somone cook dinner and change diapers with their feet)… and breasts are in fact part of the body, they aren’t an outdated relic of the past, they are a part of the woman’s body that makes her uniquely female.

Anthropologically, they are how the male of our species knows that the female is fertile, and as such, have become a big part of sexual desire, not just in the developed world where Hugh Heffner is a household name, but in our entire species, regardless of it’s exposure to airbrushed models. Having your boobs augmented may be a luxury, but it isn’t because having them makes you ’sexy’, it’s becuase not having them makes a woman feel like less of a woman…

Another example… have you ever known a woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer? I don’t know if you know this, but in the event of a breast cancer diagnosis, American insurance must pay for any of 3 options… 1) mastectomy of affected breast, 2) full mastectomy (both sides for good measure), or 3) full mastectomy AND breast augmentation… yes, that’s right, it’s considered a part of a woman’s body.

And if you’ve ever known a woman with breast cancer (I’ve had the displeasure of knowing two)… as with any diagnosis that could lead to death, the person is overwhelmed by the thought of dying, but the hope in them that they will live leads one to mourn the loss of the normality that we all live within. For a heterosexual woman, normality is tied into our femininity, and that link is not easily broken, the thought of living on, but without part of that femininity is very depressing for many woman.
Third… what is it with people wanting to tell others how to think and feel? I don’t get it. It’s always been an enigma to me within political and religious context, but this is even worse. How is it anyone’s business, what makes people think they should judge me for my actions which harm none. I wonder if when braces were becoming more popular, people were very judgemental of the desire to have straight teeth? Or if when ED became a diagnosed disorder, if people were judgemental of men who wanted to have sex again?

Sure, I get that everything that we do changes the societal norms, but like Alex said… there are so many more important things to be worrying about… like rape and murder, sex slavery in much of the world, child pornography, people so hungry in haiti that they are rioting for grain, women in africa being infected through rape with HIV, even the unethical practices of big insurance companies in America… there is so much in the world to be preoccupied, why focus on the rightousness of plastic surgery? Especially in such a negative way, even if I was inclined against plastic surgery, such venemous arguments make me disrespect the position.
And that is all.”

See, for every idiot who judges us for choosing to have breast surgery, there are ten people like Beth (and me, and you) who see sense. Go us! 

Three months post-op

February 21, 2008

Hello everyone!  Once again I have been bad with my updates, but hey, I’ve been having too much fun with my new boobs to worry about it! (Ew, that sounds pretty disgusting….I don’t mean I was having fun on my own…although, I DO like to look down and go oooohhh I have breasts! Still a surprise sometimes!) Anyway, so I’m approaching three months post-op and my, how time flies when you’re recovering from breast surgery…when I think of the week before my op it’s all hazy and weird. I was pretty freaked out at times. Then afterwards I was tired, and a bit sore, and taking painkillers, and worrying about how they would look, so I didn’t really stop to think of the future and how they would look in a few months and years.  It’s only now I realise how happy I really am with them. Sure, I mentioned that occasionally I get slightly annoyed with the continuing perception some people have of this procedure but mostly I’m just delighted I did it. I’m going to post pictures VERY SOON but I can tell you they are almost completely in my natural, pre- op shape (not really high and ‘stuck-on’ looking) and they continue to soften. The outsides of each one are much softer, and underneath, where the scars are, is the hardest place. But even that is much softer. Scars are still pretty visible but I think the Bio- Oil has reduced the redness. I don’t know if they look really fake or not…they definitely look less fake than they did week 1, when they looked like Posh- style baloons….but I think they still have an element of fakeness….which will continue to fade.  So, anyone reading this who is currently in week 1 and feeling pretty miserable (believe me, I remember), take heart– it passes, and soon you’ll look and feel great.  Happy boobies! xx 

 I’ve written about this before on here– about how other people perceive breast implants on women– and it’s something I still occasionally wonder about.
Because I am happy with my surgery, I honestly am not bothered if someone has a problem with it, or thinks I’m a slut, whatever (I have gotten these emails, seriously.)
What I do think about is where these perceptions have come from and why they are still around. I have only gotten good ‘reviews’ of my boobs but I still wonder, what do they say about me to other people? Why is there an image in the media of boob jobs = cheap, trashy, pathetic, slutty, blah blah idiots. 
All the (two) guys who’ve actually seen and felt mine thought they were great, and my friends and family think they’re great. I do get the occasional “they’re pretty hard” comments but hey, I’m only three months post-op.
The second guy I told/showed them to/had sex with since my surgery said to me: “Fair play to you– it’s a big deal, isn’t it, deciding to do this…” and stuff like that. I was like, WHY is it a big deal? It really isn’t. You want to change your body, you have money, you do it. Finished. But for some reason, some people I know think getting a boob job means I’m a different person than they thought I was. 
 
I also think it’s about breast size in general. Women are perceived differently depending on their boob size, whether we like it or not. I didn’t get this done so other people would look at me differently. In fact, the only negative thing to come out of this (and honestly it’s a tiny thing and not a regret) is that I do think some people ARE looking at me differently. Am I paranoid for some reason? Anyone reading this with implants who has had a negative reaction, let me know.
 
I found this study online when I was searching for articles on this topic…it’s about how a woman’s breast size affects people’s perceptions of her.  I’ll just quote the whole abstract here.
 
From the study “Biggest Isn’t Always Best: The Effect of Breast Size on Perceptions of Women” (From the Journal of Applied Psychology, Volume 32, Issue 11, November 2002), 
 
Research has demonstrated preferences for medium and large breasts and a tendency to associate positive attributes with larger breasts. Findings have been limited, however, by use of stimuli that do not depict women realistically or in a credible context.
In the current study, a female actor’s breast size was manipulated to create four videotapes (bra cup sizes A, B, C, and D) in which she delivered a speech. Participants viewed one of the four videotapes and rated the actor on social and professional characteristics.
Males perceived the actor more favorably on both professional and social characteristics when she had a medium breast size, whereas females were generally not influenced by breast size.
Findings are related to the popularity of methods to enhance breast size and the need for awareness of the potential impact of breast size on how women are perceived.”
 
Interesting, yes? 

The reviews are in!

February 11, 2008

By ‘reviews’ I mean: another guy review, my surgeon’s review, and, um, MY review. Oh and some random people’s views on my new body parts.

First, sorry again for the not updating– for numerous boring reasons I haven’t really had a chance. But I’m back, and even better, I should have some more pics up soon.
Anyway, so I went to my two month post-op review with my surgeon and he was delighted with his work, if he does say so himself. I told him about my occasional left arm pain (which is gone now) and he said it is completely normal and happens as my nerves kind of re-ignite, or get working again. (I’m sure there’s an actual medical term for that but I’m too lazy to Google it).
Both boobs have softened up a lot in the past few weeks, so maybe that’s what the twinges were. The PS also said they looked pretty natural, and told me to come back in one year for further review. Yay!

Also, I had sex again on Saturday night (let me just say, at the risk of people thinking I’m a complete slut or something, that before this year I had a loooong dry spell. Main reason? My lack of confidence of course! I’m not saying people should get a boob job to improve their sex lives, but really, it’s amazing how much my confidence has improved, and THAT is something guys notice, not just the boobs. I walk with my shoulders back and my head high, not slightly hunched over, tugging at my top.)
Yeah, so it was with a guy I’ve actually known for years…who I like a lot. We were lying in my bed deliberating on whether having sex would ruin our friendship (as you do) when I just burst out, “Ihadaboobjobinnovember.” He confrimed my new-found realisation that people’s reactions to this news are generally good! NO ONE I have told has reacted badly, or with weirdness. He was interested and gave me the “Fair play for taking the risk, do what you gotta do” speech. Double yay!
Also he kind of loved them– I said, you know they’re still not as soft as real ones…but he didn’t care because he said they felt great. He then took an almost clinical view of them, running his hands over the scars (which he said aren’t bad looking), pressing the inner corners where the implant ‘starts’, etc. Then he started….mmmmmmm. Sorry that bit is not to be shared 🙂

In general, people have noticed that my boobs have grown a bit. But it’s not negative and no one is jumping down my throat going “YOU HAD PLASTIC SURGERY!!” Some of my frends just said, hey, your boobs look great, you (finally) got a pair! Hehe. But I’m soooo happy with them. I love that I can look brilliant in nice dresses and tops, I love walking around in a t-shirt and no bra and having lovely round, non-saggy boobs, I love my new body confidence…..so for anyone worried about ANYTHING, just remember 1. why you want to get it done and 2. It will all be worth it….

Cut them again, Sam

January 18, 2008

Breast Redo Surgery– a scary term for those of us happy with our new boobs and thanking Jesus the surgery part is over, and the looking great part has begun.
But lets be realistic– chances are most of us who get a boob job will need to have them replaced at some point in the future, whether because the implant itself has lost quality in appearance, or because we want to go bigger (or smaller).

It’s a bit early for me to be thinking about it– I plan to wait the recommended five years (after this year’s final check ups) and then go back to a surgeon and just get them done again, regardless of how they look. Actually, the WEEK after my surgery I was like, hey, this wasn’t so bad! I’ll get it done again! I’ll go bigger! My friends were like, um, calm down, you complete plastic surgery addict.

But will we all need a redo? How much will it be? Will the implants start visibly looking bad? It’s all slightly depressing thinking of this but here is what I’ve found out, anyway. Yes, I did me some research. Ahem. *shuffles papers*

Basically, the three most common reasons for breast implant revisions are a desire to change implant size; a need to improve the natural feel and appearance of the breasts; and correcting capsular contracture. I’ll leave capsular contracture out of this, since I don’t have it, you probably don’t have it, and lets all pray we never get it.
So I’ll focus on the need to improve the natural feel and appearance of the breasts, because after up to ten years this all can change, and a redo is recommended. Especially for all us young girls getting it done– I’ll be 30 when I think about going back under the knife.
(OK, that sentence actually scared me a bit. I sound like…I don’t know).

The good news is: not everyone needs a redo. You just wait and see what happens, basically. Go back to a surgeon in five years and get them checked. Also get them checked when pregnant, after pregnancy, and when getting a mammogram.
The other good news is, because the muscle has been stretched and your body has been through it before, it will be much less painful, with a shorter recovery time. Original problems like high boobs and lots of pain won’t be as big a deal.
It doesn’t cost less for a redo–unless you are having it done in the same place because of a problem with your original surgery. I think most places, fearing litigation, will do a redo (?) for free in these cases.

But, yes, many of should expect to need more surgery to replace or remove them in the future.
The exact life span of the implants varies widely from woman to woman…but they are expected to deflate eventually (gulp) and may have a life span of only five to ten years or less.

I wouldn’t let the idea of a redo stop you from surgery– it’s like getting a great bikini wax– it hurts and isn’t pleasant, but it’s worth it, even though you know you’ll just have to go back and do it again…eventually.

But they LOOK fantastic…

January 15, 2008

So I had sex last weekend for the first time since I had the surgery. Thank God, because I hadn’t had sex in four months, which is just too long a time with no sex in it.
Anyway it was with this guy…who we’ll call Jack…..that I’ve liked for a while. And he’s liked me for a while and we were building it up and sending steamy texts…and we’ve gone out casually a few times, usually with other people, and kissed and fumbled.
So finally we decided we’d go out and see what happened. A non-date, because I made him meet me late– outside date time. I hate dates, they’re like job interviews, except you don’t have the bonus of getting a salary at the end.
So we went out and ended up back in his place.
(Incidentally, it’s hard figuring out what to wear when you know you’re simply meeting someone for sex. A coat with nothing underneath? Not in Ireland, your body parts would freeze and then snap off. Jeans and a t-shirt? Slightly boring. I mean, you want to have no fuss, easily removable clothes…which rules out socks, skinny jeans, tights…In the end I wore black trousers, slip on flats and a vest….IN WINTER I wore this. Like a complete fucking idiot. The minute I got outside I regretted it….it was about minus 5 degrees!)
ANYway, sorry. So we went back to his place and it began. He knew about the boobs, I told him a few weeks ago. He was also pretty cool about it. I do believe most guys–who were attracted to you in the first place–will be excited about your new boobs. Guys who say they don’t like the idea are LYING. Men are programmed to like breasts–and the ones (who have already attacked me on this blog) who say fake breasts feel shit and look shit don’t know what they are talking about, and are probably virgins.
Jack, in any case, thought they were the best things ever. I won’t go into the sex details (although I will say that it didn’t really happen the first time, due to the amount of alcohol consumed, so at 4am we did it again and it was fantastic) but at one point, I noticed he was in a position where, if he looked up, he would be face to face with the scars…and I laughed and said, they’re not finished yet! And he said, listen, I don’t give a shit about scars. Turns out a lot of squeezing and rubbing doesn’t hurt, for those who wanted to know.
So I asked him, the next day, for the verdict, and he said again that they look amazing. He actually couldn’t stop touching them…I was like, listen they’re not THAT great–yet—because they’re not fully soft and all that jazz. But apparently, it’s how they look more than how they feel…at least for this guy.
I can’t decide which of us is more caught up with appearances…

Get over it

January 8, 2008

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OK, lets get it out in the open, once and for all, and then lock it forever in a fucking safe and bury the key.
By ‘it’ I mean the dated, boring, insulting and highly annoying perception of women who have their breasts surgically enlarged.
When people say to me “What are the drawbacks of having a boob job?” I don’t say the pain or the nuisance of the whole thing. I say, “Well, it means people think that when the implant goes in, my intelligence goes out and I’m on the phone to a brothel begging for a job.”
Even the idea that all women who work in a brothel, or in the porn industry, are fucking idiots pisses me off.
We’re all going to be judged for our decision, girls. There will always be someone who looks down on you for something that is none of their damn business. So instead of getting angry (which I do, all the time) we are going to ignore it and be the generation of women who prove that having a boob job is not a synonym for: low intelligence, severe mental problems, no love life to speak of, a desire to have sex all the time, a desire to get paid for having sex, a desire to be seen as fluffy and stupid, or wanting excess male attention.
If you’ve got a problem with the idea, stop reading the fucking blog.

Did I really think that?

January 6, 2008

The other day I had a rare insight into how I used to think of myself, and more importantly how other people think of me. Well, used to think of me. I knew I was unhappy with my chest size but I didn’t know I projected this unhappiness like an aura, making me self-conscious and making any guys I was with feel uncomfortable.
I was talking to a friend of mine who I used to work with, and who I used to have kissing sessions with too, which one night turned into sex on the sitting room floor of his apartment. This was about two years ago, or more. I really liked him at the time but the shadow of the small breasted girl’s enemy–The Girl With Bigger Boobs–hung over me like a cloud.We were having drinks Thursday night talking about our ill-fated hook up (he was seeing someone else at the time–yet another sign of my lack of confidence–going for men I knew wouldn’t be able to be with me properly) and we were laughing at the drunken mess we were that night. I told him about my boob job and he was cool about it, saying good for you etc.
Then he reminded me of a conversation we had once where we were kissing in some bar in town and he was trying to feel my boobs. I would always immediately tense up when this happened, although this particular time I didn’t. But the other day he told me that after he had put his hand up my top I said “Do you hate me now?”

Christ. I don’t remember being that bad. I don’t remember saying it, but obviously I did. It’s kind of pathetic but also an excellent insight into how I felt about myself. That’s why it didn’t work between us, I was too crippled with insecurity. Oh and, he had a girlfriend.

It’s amazing how much better I feel about myself now, I know I keep saying it, but it’s true. ANYONE with an insecurity, and everyone has them, will feel better when they consciously go and do something about it. I am not saying that a woman’s happiness depends on her breast size, I’m saying MY happiness was blocked by my own warped view of myself–so I changed it.

Also I still do mostly forget I had it done. I have no pain apart from an occasional and mild muscle twinge, the scars are starting to improve, and they have dropped slightly already. As for softness, the outside of each one is really much softer than the insides, but they will get softer I know. When I lie down, they are harder.

But anyway imagine saying that or thinking that…that a guy who obviously liked me enough to be with me in the first place would go off me because I had no boobs. I was convinced of this for so long…Now if a guy goes off me, at least I know it’s not because I look shit in a nice bra 🙂

One month post-op

December 24, 2007

I made it! Exactly one month ago I was pretty miserable and in stiff, hunch-backed pain. It feels weird when I remember it now, like it didn’t happen. I swear sometimes I forget I actually had surgery, had a boob job. I feel no pain, they have dropped slightly already, and continue to soften up, despite the fact I’m not massaging as much as I should, and that I’ve worn underwire…ahem.

Last night I was joining John Lennon in thinking another year over, and what have I done? I was getting pretty miserable about it–still in the same job that I hate, living in the same place, still boyfriendless…I thought to myself, God I haven’t done much this year. Then I looked down and remembered that I actually DID do something this year, something I’ve been wanting for a long, long time, something that has made me happier…and boy, was it worth it. So if your surgery is looming, take a deep breath, focus on the end result, and just ride through it. Good luck to you, if you are getting it done. It’s one of the best things I ever did.

 Oh, and Merry Christmas 🙂

Recovery, day 5 on

December 10, 2007

This is where it eased up for me. I could use my arms again (slowly) and I could put stuff over my head. I also tried on a sports bra for the first time. THAT moment made it all worth it for me. At that exact moment, as I looked in the mirror and saw something I have wanted since I was 16, I finally realised that I DID IT! Focus on this moment, ladies.
It’s not all plain sailing from here–but it’s easier. The mornings are still pretty bad. But I kept taking the painkillers as timed until they ran out, then I bought more because I still needed them in the mornings.
I was still wearing the boob tube bandage at this point too, which annoyed me because my nipples started to hurt (they still look kinda squashed!)
I still took things slowly though. Get a lot of rest and don’t over-exert yourself.
After day 7 I could put on a sports bra, THANKS BE TO JESUS because (and this is pretty gross) my boobs had this weird, greasy look and feel because they were cooped up in the tight bandage. I started panicking thinking I had this weird secretion. But apparently it’s normal, just vile. I could also shower after day 7 too, as long as I changed my incision plasters and kept them dry.
At this point I was still kind of worried about complications, I guess I can’t help being a worrier. But it’s pretty normal to have moments of panic I think…So I’m taking it a day at a time. Tomorrow is my last day of covering my scars, and in one month I can wear underwire…YAY. At the moment I’m massaging and waiting for them to soften. One is actually harder than the other (my right) this could be ‘cos I’m right handed…
Also in week 2 I was still stiff in the mornings and couldn’t completely lie on my tummy or side in bed, but that passes.
I’m trying to think of more details, I guess me saying “It hurts a bit” and stuff isn’t much help. I was pretty much back to normal life, which for me is pretty unstrenuous anyway. I wasn’t having sex which you have to wait a while to do and I don’t lift heavy stuff, or exercise, or dance around…wow I’m a poster girl for the good life, aren’t I??
You have to wait about a few weeks to do all this stuff anyway.

Things that are normal, but that you may worry about:

1. Pain in ribs and upper abdomen–I was like “Gah! My muscle has split open!” and stuff. But of course this area will hurt as your muscle heals.
2. Itchy, tingly scars
3. Sudden sharp pain inside boobs (I don’t know what causes this but I asked and it’s normal! And doesn’t last. It’s more like a small, fleeting stitch than a pain.)
4. One breast softening first
5. Uneven scars–I freaked about this–but my left scar is slightly longer, not much. A nurse said to me, think of each breast as a different entity–the surgeon does each separately and manipulates them differently–he must have had to make a bigger hole in my smaller boob.